Russian Interrogation
by Josephine Falnor
Summary: Russia disappears after a meeting, and China goes to find him. When he hears Ivan interrogating someone, he immediately assumes it's one of the Baltic nations, only to end up surprised by who it actually is.


_**Author's Note:**_

_**This is a very short fic that was mainly written as a joke. I feel like it needs a little bit of an explanation.**_

_**A few weeks ago, I was helping a friend of mine pack before she moved. We had two markers to label stuff with, and we kept losing them. Not only that, but they'd end up in the weirdest places that we couldn't remember setting them down in. We decided they were running away, which led to threats made towards the markers, which led to fanfiction inspiration. **_

_**Anyways, this is a joke-fic, and is in no way meant to be taken seriously. That being said, enjoy, and please comment!**_

_**Thank you! ^_^  
**_

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China was walking down a hall in the UN headquarters, looking for Russia. They were supposed to be leaving the meeting hall together, but Ivan had left part way through, claiming to have something important to do, and he hadn't come back. Yao had no clue where he was.

Suddenly he heard the Russian's voice, and stopped, figuring out which direction it was coming from. He quickly found the door that Russia was behind, and leaned close, trying to listen better.

"Running away was a bad idea, da?" Russia asked, his voice light, despite how accusatory the words secretly were. "I can't understand why you would run from me. That's alright though. I won't be torturing you, da…that would be too simple. It will be far more painful if I hurt your family instead, especially if you watch, da?"

China's eyes widened as he realized Russia must have somehow gotten a hold on one of the Baltic brothers, and was most likely finally taking his revenge on them for leaving the Soviet Union.

"Russia, stop, aru!" he cried, throwing open the door, thankful it hadn't been locked. Russia turned when he heard China's voice, looking at him with a confused expression. "What is it, da?"

China stared, horrified, at Russia. "You're hurting someone, aren't you, aru! Stop, please!"

Russia only looked more confused. "No, I'm not. Where did you get that idea, China? You're silly, da?"

China finally took a moment to look around the room, for one of the Baltic nations, and quickly realized no one was in that room besides Russia. "But…I heard you, aru!"

"Heard me what? Please, be more specific, da?"

"You were talking about hurting someone's family…and someone running away…and torture…and…" China trailed off, frowning. "Where are the Baltic brothers? You're talking to one of them, aren't you?"

Russia blinked, tilting his head in confusion as he stared at China. "No, I'm not, da."

"Then who, aru?"

Russia stepped aside from a table in the room, to reveal a marker used on one of the boards in the conference rooms. "When I went to talk earlier, I couldn't find my marker. I left to look for it, and found it, da," he said, smiling unnervingly. "I'm simply teaching it that I don't like things to run away from me."

China could only stare. Without another word, he backed out of the room, and closed the door, sighing a little. He briefly considered thinking about what Russia had said, before deciding it was best not to think too much on it. This was one confusing event that was probably best forgotten, rather than contemplated.

China could only hope that Russia wouldn't hurt all the other markers at the UN, or they'd have to find some other way to write notes, which would probably involve going back to the chalkboards after Russia had discovered how effective scratching them with his finger nails was when it came to torturing all the nations at once.

"Aiyaa…maybe it's best not to have any sort of board up in the meeting room, aru…" China muttered, sighing to himself as he left the hall, not caring to hear anymore interrogations directed at a marker.

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**_A/N:_**

**_As I said, it was a joke. A really stupid joke. That being said, I hope at least someone enjoyed it. ^^; Please leave a review. I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this story!  
_**


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